Just two more full weeks of work from today.

Just one full week of work post-surgery until then.

Just exactly 3 weeks after surgery is hook up day. This is the news I’ve been waiting for since getting the surgery date finalized. I’ll go 3 weeks without hearing at all, well at least not real sounds. I do expect to hear a hell of a lot of racket going on in my head though. If the screeching I got last year during the drops in hearing is any indication…I can only imagine what will happen when an electrode is shoved into my cochlea and taking out a few of those delicate hair cells in the process…most likely the ones I got left. But then..there is a whole lot of DOAs in there, too…so let’s not view the electrode as an antagonist.

So 3 weeks waiting for the real show to begin. The surgery puts everything in place, hook up day is when the starting gun goes off. That’s the day we really look forward to once surgery is reality. It’s sooner than I had expected it would be and I am not complaining in the least. I’ll be busy recovering along with my family visiting for the first week after surgery. Then I’ll have a partial work week, followed by a single full week of work. Then halfway into the following week it’s time to flip the switch. Of course I’m measuring it in terms of work because that is when it will be more of an ordeal. That is when I’ll be forced to be out and about as opposed to in bed at home…asleep….for 3 weeks preferably. But nope, I got bills to pay and I don’t get that much vacation time.

This good news is also boosted by the fact that I did get an audiologist change and I’m getting the one I had hoped for. So all in all, it was a good day. It was just the boost I needed. Keep me looking forward.

I've been listening to music while I can, which is in between taking care of things that need to be done...so that means pretty much just on weekends and towards the end of the day after I've done what I need to. There is just never nearly enough time. I have just this weekend and next weekend to listen to music. After that.....it's all the unknown.

I was listening to Def Leppard tonight. This is a band that nowadays is pretty much dismissed as old and tired. They had two periods of huge popularity...once that happens it's difficult to regain that status. They were cutting edge and undeniable. Everyone had a copy of Pyromania and Hysteria. But what's cutting edge turns to cliche when it is copied a thousand times over by lesser bands/acts and turned into a joke. That said, they've continued to this day...without the spotlight...and never really resorted to tired formula when producing new material (with one exception, that unfortunately did have a serious effect on their reputation.) They always strove for quality and innovation with an awareness of what is currently happening.

Def Leppard is one of those lifetime bands....I am a die hard fan. Much of their less commercial material...the stuff no one heard because they were too stuck on Pour Some Sugar On Me (even that song was innovative and fresh at the time of it's release), stands up to this day. The artistry they injected into their material gave it a life that transcends trends....just as the other classics do such as Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. A poor strategic decision in 1992 where they became a parody of themselves rather than demonstrating their continued ability to lead and innovate is what kept them from being critically recognized as being on the same level. They are associated with a genre that does them a disservice by deflecting any chance of recognition for their efforts and the public at large really doesn't allow them to move beyond the late 80s material while at the same time ridiculing them for it. It's a vicious vortex. They've since decided to accept it and make the most of it..but it is tragic in that they are capable of so much more. Both guitarists have side-bands that they play in that give them the opportunity to free themselves of the constraints of Def Leppard and the expectations that come with it. Both projects are what would be described as "art rock" or even alternative. These aspects had always been a factor in the band, but as their popularity grew, the public resistance to anything new did also.

Part of the appeal of the band is the fact their drummer, Rick Allen, lost his left arm in 1984 just after their first wave of popularity. He faced it and adapted by creating a electronic drum set that used pedals that he could hit with his foot instead that would trigger the same drum hit that he would otherwise play with his left arm. As you can imagine, this took some rewiring of his brain to adapt his ability to play drums to this new approach and he succeeded. The following album and tour, Hysteria, was an even bigger seller. This was all done in the spotlight with his one arm. What could have easily ended his career as a musician and drummer was rejected. In a similar manner, I rejected not listening to or even playing music despite my losing my hearing. Rick is obviously a hero in this manner to me as is the band as a whole for standing with him as opposed to replacing him. You can read about Rick and the Raven Drum Foundation which he runs in addition to his continued playing with Def Leppard.

I have another hero I'd like to mention, particularly as the time draws closer where I will truly be unable to listen to music at all......John Redden, a bloke from Canada. John has the same implant I am about to get. He is notable for being a guitarist and having perfect pitch...all with his implant. He was late deafened as an adult, so he has this on me. But the fact he is real and he succeeded in beating the odds by retaining (actually gaining back, considering he was unable to hear at all for time) his ability to enjoy and play music. His tastes in music are not far off from mine, leaning towards classic rock. My mentor, Lorie, hooked me up with John's email address some time ago so that I could converse with him for myself. I had to see if this guy was for real. If he can do it, why can't I? I'd be lying if I said that a big part of my decision to go with Advanced Bionics wasn't influenced by John's success. This was someone who could tell me specifically what he was hearing, he wasn't just a passive listener who couldn't describe the details of what he heard. This is someone who made already made the leap and attained what I hope for. Perhaps it's unrealistic to expect the level of success he had, but the point is...he succeeded and it's real.

So as the countdown digits get lower and lower in number and I start to have seconds thoughts...asking myself if I really want to give up what hearing I have left...and question whether I'm closing the door on music, I think of John. I don't think I could do this if it wasn't for him and the others who have spoken of their continued ability to enjoy music. I'd wind up waiting until there was another drop in hearing....until every last margin of hearing was gone and there was only one other way to go.

Thank God for heroes...they give me something concrete to believe in and aspire to.

Watching time go and feeling belief grow
Rise above the obstacles
People beseech me
But they will never teach me
Things that I already know
I know

Dreams that I have shattered
May not have mattered
Take another point of view
Doubts will arise though
Like chasing a rainbow
I can tell a thing or two
That's true

You've got to believe in yourself
Or no one will believe in you
Imagination like a bird on the wing
Flying, free for you to use
OK baby

I can't believe they stop and stare
And point their fingers doubting me
Their disbelief suppresses them
But they're not blind
It's just that they won't see

I'm a believer, I ain't no deceiver
Mountains move before my eyes
Destiny planned out I don't need no handout
Speculation of the wise
Believer - Ozzy Osbourne